RetirementHomes.com - Independent Living

Do you want to live to 109?

aadmin — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:00:31 +0000

A few weeks ago my grandfather, Sam Baker, passed away at the age of 109. He spent most of his life toiling in the prairies of Western Canada as described in this Winnipeg Free Press article. I and other family members, believe that he was much older (my estimate 113) but the official record is 109. So how did he do it? What was it like to be a alive during the last century?

Here’s a sample list of accomplishments that my grandfather witnessed:

Creation of Commercial Air flight
Introduction of Household appliances – refrigerator, electric stove/oven, can opener, microwave, etc.
Invention of the automobile and the development of the Interstate Highway
Adoption of Indoor Plumbing
Eradication of Polio, Measles and Smallpox
Prohibition
The Great Depression
World War I and II
Construction of the Indoor Mall
Onset of Computers and the Internet

After surviving the “dirty-30s” as a farm equipment dealer in Hamiota, Manitoba, (population of less than 1,000), he bought and successfully operated a chain of women’s clothing stores in and around Brandon, Manitoba. He married late in life (36 – the same age I was when I married), settled into a modest house in Brandon, and raised two daughters and a son.

At 85, he retired from the store, and travelled extensively with my grandmother (who predeceased him 11 years ago). After her death, he spent the balance of his life reading the newspaper in Winnipeg and frequenting the Winnipeg Senior scene.

My uncle stated at the funeral, he was what actuaries call the “Omega Man”, the last of his generation. A man of quiet dignity, he wore a jacket and tie every day, and walked almost 3 miles daily (to the bank and to the coffee shop) well into his 100s. An infrequent speaker, he was prepared to offer his opinion on a variety of matters when provoked. I spent a few days each year with my grandfather at his office in Brandon, cottage at Clear Lake or home in Winnipeg. On most of these family visits, I acted like a rambunctious toddler or teenager, unappreciative of his experiences.

In the last few years I listened intently and asked him questions about his life. On my last visit, several weeks before his death, all there was to say was “I Love You.” We had said it all. We knew the end was near, so I hugged him one last time. My daughter Orli kissed him and we left.

So what does it take to live to 109?

Based on my decades of discussions with my grandfather here’s what I know:

Speak only when you have something important to say
Treat your family better than your friends
Stay away from gossip and idle talk
Never argue with your wife, she’s always right
Lead by example, not with words
Enjoy the simple pleasures in life

Speak when you have something important to say

There is too much chatter in today’s Twitter society. My grandfather engaged in friendly conversation on a regular basis and loved interacting with people, but he rarely spoke in public. When he did speak, he did so with meaning and purpose. He hardly spoke at family gatherings, but when he did, people stopped their idle talking and listened. Later in my life, his personal conversations with me were so packed with value, it required that I decompress and ponder for a few days. These most private conversations possessed important messages he imparted to me.

Treat your family better than your friends

Sadly, most people treat their friends better than their family. As the youngest son in a family of five brothers and two (younger) sisters, my grandfather ensured that the family stayed together. Throughout his life, even when his brothers and their children lived far apart from each other, he made sure that disagreements amongst individual family members were dealt with and not left to fester.

Stay away from gossip

My grandfather enjoyed the routine banter of life, but he was not one to engage in gossip or act in a mean spirited way with his words. On occasion, he did not disclose things that he wanted to say to other people. My grandfather never told my uncle that he appreciated the care and assistance he had provided to him in the last decade of his life, but he confided this information to me several times. After my grandfather’s death I realized how much this “omission” had affected my uncle.

Never argue with your wife

As a person who’s been married for over eight years, it’s easy to say this, much harder to live it. My grandparents had a special relationship, sharing many hardships and heartaches. Given their circumstances, they were able to live their lives to the fullest. My grandparents never argued in front of me. There was never any tension in their home. My grandfather took it upon himself to be the peacemaker in the relationship. I can only hope that my relationship with my wife survives their 60+ years.

Lead by example

My grandfather lived a modest life and made sure that we understood the difference between right and wrong. He didn’t tell us what to do, he lived it. He took care of his possessions, ensuring his 1985 Lincoln was tuned and cleaned after each lengthy road trip or 5,000 km (whichever came first). He treated friends, family and associates with dignity and compassion. While he was a tough negotiator, he respected those with whom he worked.

Enjoy the simple pleasures of life

My grandfather was not tremendously wealthy, but he took advantage of opportunities when they arose. Without fail, he would have a cocktail shortly before dinner (usually scotch & water, but also white rum and Sprite). He loved spending time with his grandchildren (at least initially) and his friends, and going for long walks along Winnipeg‘s Wellington Crescent and the River Heights area.

Lessons from my grandfather

In modern day business language, we ask: what are the key take-aways that we can learn from Sam Baker. However, I prefer to look at his life lessons to be lived every day.

Treat people with respect. He had his own version of the “golden rule”. He didn’t like everyone, but he treated them with respect. I’m going to ensure that that I’m respectful of those that I interact with on a regular basis.

Show appreciation. My grandfather grew up in a time when fathers were hard on their children and some of that rubbed off on him. Later in his life he used to tell me that he loved me. He appreciated my uncle’s efforts as primary caregiver, though he rarely said anything. I’m going to tell and show people that I appreciate them and their effort s more than before.

Watch your tongue. I’m a bit of an introvert and so I don’t really like mixing in large crowds of people. When I do talk to people, I’m going to be more conscious of what and how I say things.

Communicate more. Because of my introverted nature, this one is going to be hard for me. I don’t really like to talk, so it means that when I speak, I’ll make my comments more meaningful and less superfluous. Also, I will be writing a lot more than in the past.

Enjoy life with all it has to offer. My wife constantly reminds me about how to stop and appreciate what we have been given (four amazing daughters, and her, an amazing wife), and I am forever reminding her to slow down. Somewhere we’ll find a happy medium, but I’ll be sure to have a glass of whisky or beer after 5 pm in my grandfather’s honor almost every day.

I will miss the visits with my grandfather (including the famous cocktail hours) but I'm certain that these lessons he inculcated in me will stay with me and my children forever.

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Lonely New York seniors will receive presents from local charities on Christmas

aadmin — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:07:23 +0000

There are only a few more weeks until North America’s holiday season arrives, and for many people, that means vacation away from work, and time spent in the company of friends, family and plenty of food.

But for many seniors, the holiday season is a depressing and lonely time when there are no friends and family to spend time with, and only short days and long, cold nights.

Fortunately, a group of concerned residents in Saratoga Springs, New York, is working with local businesses to help brighten the season for less fortunate seniors, according to a recent article in the Times Union, an Albany newspaper.

A multitude of volunteer groups, local retailers, as well as individuals, has come together and will be collecting and offering gifts to seniors over the next month. As a result of these efforts, an estimated 200 seniors will benefit, according to the news source.

“We are looking to bring holiday cheer to seniors around the Saratoga Springs area,” Maureen Hopkins with Home Instead Senior Care, one of the participating organizations, told the Times Union.

The charity drive will offer shoppers at locations around Saratoga Springs the opportunity to buy unwrapped gifts and drop them off for lonely local seniors.

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Independent Living

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Families thrive as boomers retire

aadmin — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 10:18:35 +0000

Many aspects of retirement are likely to be particularly sweet for baby boomers, according to a recent article in U.S. News and World Report. Despite speculation that the poor economic climate may negatively impact the golden years for this demographic, they have plenty to look forward to when it comes to their family dynamic, the news source reports.

While many approaching retirement living may dread having an empty nest, once the initial shock of the kids leaving home wears off, it can be quite nice to have a house for just yourself and your partner. With kids out living their own lives, older adults can find time to go on a much-needed vacation, or pick up a hobby that has been on the back burner for years.

In the same vein, planning and paying for a vacation for two people is a lot easier - and more affordable - than a getaway for the whole family. The extra funds can be used to pay for a nicer hotel room or more exotic destination.

According to Everyday Health, having adult children also allows retirees to deepen their relationship with their kids in a new way.

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Independent Living

Senior Rebels with a Cause

aadmin — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 11:17:43 +0000

Imagine. It’s 1969. Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper race across the American silver screen in Easy Rider, one of the Top Ten highest-grossing movies of the year.

It was a film that captured the imagination of US youth and still seems to have a grip on the greying crowd. The annual Legion Riders Legacy Run arrived in Ft. Wayne, IN. on August 22 with veterans on Harleys, seeking to raise funds for a scholarship fund for the children of military parents killed in active duty.

A large Star-Spangled Banner hung from a fire truck ladder and waved above the nearly 400 Legacy Riders that snarled traffic before noon.

Jim Solberg, a 75-year-old retiree from Ingleside, IL, told The Journal Gazette of Ft. Wayne that the motorcycle sojourn was a lesson in public awareness, adding that the local encouragement was inspiring. "We love that. That lets us know people are aware of what we’re doing,” the intrepid adventurer told the media source. He’s a freedom loving retiree, unprepared to hang up his Harley boots for an active lifestyle or independent living community.

The American Legion intends to raise $450,000 during the 1,200 miles biker trip that twists through six states. The annual ride finishes in Minneapolis, the site of the 2011 American Legion National Convention.

Marlon Brando in The Wild One might have been more dramatic, but the Legion riders know how to keep busy. They're rebels with a cause.

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Independent Living

Retirement communities may be the answer for seniors

aadmin — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:29:47 +0000

Many seniors can agree that their home is something they are proud of and the idea of change can be very scary. However, keeping up a house can become more of a problem as people age, and it may be important to look at all other options. According to the Northwest Indiana Times, there are retirement communities that seniors can move into now that allow them to build another life.

"Planning ahead can give you more choices for your future, making a big difference in your level of independence and quality of life," Lorie Hershman-Reeves, head of marketing at a retirement community in Chicago, told the news source."Independent living and assisted living are great choices for many seniors. They often find the sense of community and assistance in daily living activities improves their health."

Now that the large number of baby boomers are reaching their golden years, it may be wise to look into some of these retirement communities to plan ahead. According to the Associated Press, baby boomers are looking for a new type of retirement living, and these facilities may be the perfect place.

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Independent Living

Areas without good public transit pose threat to seniors

aadmin — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:28:37 +0000

A recent study finds that many seniors living in the U.S. will soon be without access to a good public transportation system. According to Reuters, researchers found that more than 15.5 million seniors between the ages of 65 or 79 will live in suburbs that are far from any mass transit system, putting them at a disadvantage.

"The baby boom generation grew up and reared their own children in communities that for the first time in human history were built on the assumption that everyone would be able to drive," John Robert Smith, co-chair of Transportation for America, told the news source.

Seniors who live far away from a major area with public transportation may want to consider moving to a retirement living community, where their daily needs are easily within reach.

Without good public transportation, seniors who don't drive are less likely to go to the doctor or visit friends and family. Cities that were cited in the report as having particularly bad public transit include Atlanta, Houston and Detroit.

Driving can be difficult for some seniors, and dangerous for others. According to AAA, the most common mistakes leading to collisions for seniors include failure to yield right of way and improper left turns.

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Independent Living

Dressing up a home for sale

aadmin — Thu, 26 May 2011 12:04:03 +0000

Many baby boomers are thinking about moving to retirement living communities in the coming years, especially as children graduate from college and move out of the house. Fixing up a home to attract buyers may seem like it will be a pricey maneuver, but with the right finesse, the project can be affordable and easy.

Catherine Silverman, a professional home stager, recently showed how homeowners can make their residence stick out from the rest.

She says that it's all about one thing - staging. If older adults can manage to make their homes look brand new, then renovations are probably not necessary.

The first step is to tour the house as if one is a prospective buyer. Analyze every room and corner like they're unfamiliar sights. This can help give homeowners perspective on what works and what doesn't.

Silverman recommends taking out personal possessions such as family photographs or collections. The idea is to make it a home where the prospective buyers can envision themselves living. Kitchen counters are one of the most important parts of a home to keep organized.

Experts suggest that packing away - or donating - items can be an emotional experience when one is moving to a retirement home. Try to take pictures of treasured valuables and scenic neighborhood spots so that they're easier to remember.

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Tackling the cost of an independent living community

aadmin — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:04:03 +0000

Independent living communities are ideal accommodations for seniors who may need a little extra assistance in their day-to-day activities - or just don't feel like maintaining a big, creaky house anymore - but many older adults tend to stumble when it comes to financing the move.

However, with a few savvy saving and spending decisions, one can help ensure that the move is as smooth and painless as possible.

Caring.com recommends first using the internet to get an idea of the general price of the community and then starting the planning from there.

Many public benefits programs can help supplement the expense. Medicaid, veteran benefits, cash and counseling and long-term care insurance can all provide prospective residents with safety cushions that can help guarantee that the cost of living at a retirement living community is comfortable.

Families may also help chip in - after all, seniors did raise them on their own dime for at least 18 years. They could also rest assured that the new home will provide an older adult with the company and care that parents may be craving, while simultaneously making it easier for family caregivers to focus on their own household.

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Missouri community combines safety with independence

aadmin — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 12:04:02 +0000

Combining independent living with the safety of nearby home care services can be a delicate balance, especially for older adults who may require a little assistance but also want to retain their autonomy during the golden years.

Enter Tiger Place, an independent living community that hopes to be the next-generation senior housing for those who want more security during retirement.

The residences are located beside the University of Missouri and have easy access to nurses and healthcare professionals.

"Co-housing makes a whole lot of sense with a wellness component. It’s got to have a really strong independent focus. One that maintains good health and encourages functionality," Marilyn Rantz, a professor at the University of Missouri's nursing school, told The Kansas City Star.

The system works simply enough - Rantz explained to the publication that, when residents at Tiger Place required additional assistance, they would be provided with it. When they recovered, they would no longer receive the services.

She also said that about one-third of the residents at the community are using long-term care insurance to pay for the accommodations.

"We have successfully uncoupled the housing cost from the care cost," she told the news source. This could make Tiger Place, and independent living communities like it, ideal for older adults who wish to age in place but also want to downsize to new homes.

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How to tell if a parent needs extra care

aadmin — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:04:02 +0000

Aging parents are often very independent, which means that it's sometimes up to the rest of the family to be aware of any definitive changes in their health or behavior. Being watchful of these signs can help indicate when it may be time for seniors to move to an assisted living community.

Sara Lynn-Reynolds recently wrote for The Foxborough Patch explaining that discussion is the key to keeping track of a parent's health.

Keep up to date with their hobbies, interests and social activities. Experts often suggest that isolation can be a signal that something is wrong.

"Have you noticed that your parents are reluctant or unable to walk short distances; out to the mailbox, down stairs, to the garage or car? Have they had knee or hip surgery?" Lynn-Reynolds writes.

When visiting the house, take note of any signs of neglect. Spoiled food in the refrigerator, an overgrown yard or a cluttered home can be other indicators that a senior needs some assistance.

Sometimes, parents may be able to spend their golden years at home but require some assistance from home care workers. Families should approach the topic years in advance, so that older adults are best able to communicate their preferences.

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