Caregiver's periscope - a guide to clearer thinking

One day, I remember walking to my mailbox and seeing invitations to a bridal shower addressed to Mother and me. Why I thought, would someone invite a 91 year old woman? I was stressed at the thought of her attending.

A close friend heard me out and said I was making excuses because, deep down, I really wanted to go alone. My friend understood my feelings. My Mother has poor eyesight its difficult for me to guide her inside dark restaurants the bathroom runs, etc. My friend asked me to step away for a day and ponder some guilt-free solutions.

This friend was my periscope. She saw that I was drowning in a sea of confusion and frustration and she guided me to a clearer way of thinking. I was headed towards a rock of selfishness. A word of understanding changed my course.

I decided on a compromise. I responded yes to the shower, but would decline the wedding invitation it was too long of a day for Mother to attend. I felt sympathy for someone who is unable to get out very often, not guilt.

Mother was with me when I slowly took out the invitation from the drawer where I had hidden it. The smile on her face confirmed my decision.

We attended the bridal shower and had a wonderful time. I cherish photographs of her enjoying cake. Earlier Id planned to bring home a piece for her while I related the events of the day. By the way, half the things I worry about don't happen.

Today, Mother told me to pray I'm not invited to the wedding. I don't have a dress and am not purchasing one Ill never use again. So, I'm saved from the conversation of explaining the wedding and how its best to decline the invitation. Mother never stops amazing me. She knows her limits.

I'm grateful for the special periscope in my life. She steers me on the right path when I'm lost. It was smooth sailing thanks to her.